Friday, February 29, 2008

diary of a NonSmoker Kinda Day 1: meds freak me out!

I am not taking the Chantix. I cannot get myself to take a new pill from the pharmaceutical companies who have established a history of drug recalls and blatant lying. After reviewing the research on this pill, well what is public anyway, this medication has not had enough research to ensure its safety. For example, we do not know if taking it now will affect a fetus if and when I get pregnant. No research here, but much assumptions. Some rats have been tested while pregnant and the results were deformity and death. That was at 10 times the dose humans receive.

When I ask the question does quitting out weigh the consequences. The answer is No. You’all I’m quitting to live, so why would I accept the potential for more damage to my body then what I have already done. I mean I am a smoker, but I’ll be damn if that isn’t down the same road as the Tuskegee Experiments. Except its wrong to smoke…right, I really am a bad person aren’t I? Fuck no, and I am NOT buying into that kind of mentality. Study the research…we don’t know all the potential effects. If I could trust the pharmaceutical companies, I would totally take it, but you can’t. Over and over again they have proven they will manipulate and cut corners for profit.

Still, I won’t be the test case in this scenario even if I am a smoker and deformed babies are better then me smoking apparently. There is an ideology occurring with this new pill that doesn’t feel right. Not to me anyway. What I have read only informs that this is too risky a medication, and the ONE reason that folks try and combat the potential risks is “Well the benefits outweigh the potential consequences.” Not smoking is the benefit. So, I just decided I’ll quit on my own and not spend the next 5 years wondering if my kid is going to be affected.

There have been no deformed babies. There just isn’t enough research on women who have used the medication and produced children afterwards, and at 10X the dose in rats, this med does cause deformity of fetuses. Just reiterating for the one person who starts the game of telephone and one day the PharMa is at my door expecting me to pay them. And lets face it women, the pharmaceutical and medical industry haven’t really taken our health into account for much of anything. Tampoons – made for women – have toxins in them. Childbirth is treated like an epidemic of pain that must be stopped. Um, there is Viagra but where the hell is my orgasmic pill?

Nah, I guess I would rather continue to fight the cold turkey fight and be done with this sh!t once and for all.

I changed the quit plan a little to accommodate the cold turkey way. Every day I try and quit the whole day. Week 1, I do not smoke at work. Week 2, I only smoke 5 cigarettes and do not smoke at work. Week 3, I cut out 1 cigarette of the 5 until there are no more to smoke. And I try and quit every day. Starting with day 1. I have yet to have a cigarette. To be honest, I like the blurry head buzz from not smoking. Though the idea of not smoking at some point today feels impossible. Oh addiction, You own me…bastard.
And why would a smoker think they are better then the pharmaceutical companies? I grew up over medicated. Great doctors, but the medication protocol only made me sicker. Even now, I am a smoker and I am no longer on 5 different pills for asthma and sinus infections. I’m not saying medications aren’t important, they are! I just had the bad experiences on the spectrum of things. Learned a long time ago, they’ll dose you for anything!



GoGo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GoGo said...

But I will smoke cigarettes from a company that blantantly lied their own knowledge that cigarettes kill! I know illogical.


Anonymous said...

I better be having a kid someday for all this effort!


beth coyote said...

You can do it, you can, you can. You really can. visualize: I am an x-smoker....