Sunday, June 8, 2008

Sketch: off beat while exposing the queen

Self-confidence tempered by doubt, my mind inflamed with wanting to check my balances. I find myself wanting to control again as though somehow I can circumvent the risk of vulnerability by playing life like a chess game. I want to see all possible moves, all possible defenses so as not to cause offense to this fragile sense of exposure. Who am I kidding, if there is one lesson unlearned that could just be learned already, it would be that you…I mean I must let go of the idea of control…at least the type of control I am looking for. And though doubt nestles the thoughts, a faint off beat in this cadence of assurance, I honestly think I wouldn’t, possibly couldn’t, change what I am feeling, wanting, and hoping for...

even if my queen is taken.

1 comment:

twitches said...

I hate it when my Queen's exposed.

Seriously, I know what you mean about control, but all we can control in life is ourselves, and how we react to things. Sucks but it's true.