Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Excerpt: Pieces From the 1st draft.


Skipping through time like train tracks, marking my way backwards, I come across a memory. A depot of thought, a crossroad three paces ahead, I arrived not knowing I'd leave on a completely different track. The moment I stepped off that train my foot touched serendipity and the epiphany would come later, on the back of retelling the moment, but at that moment, I was clueless to it all...

I can't even fathom what I told him about my travels. I suspect I explained I was a student, heading back to the hometown to help out with my little brother. I probably bantered about writing, as my focus was creative writing classes that semester. Even in that moment, there would be guises layered to distract the seer from ever really seeing me, the truth safely tucked into suppression, my ego proudly grinning the illusions slipping off my magical tongue. He'd never know that I was a changeling switching my skin right before his eyes. First, I slip into neutral, becoming the solid form in the moving canvass. This was the only time my two worlds sloughed off my body and I was completely free. School, my landscape of muddled self and my family life, the noose snug around my nape, did not exist. He'd never know that it was this moment I felt completely safe and though I was supposed to be marking my own checklist to my future, I really just wanted to figure out what the hell was going on.

By the time I stepped off the train in my home town after saluting Ant* with a hug, I felt I knew something of this man while I was safely tucked away in the rhetoric of lies. Can't help but to notice that I was lying in both my worlds about the other. Can't help but see that Ant* played a huge rule in saving me one last time from my worlds crashing around me and swallowing me hole. More importantly, he saved me from myself...
(untitled autobiographical 9/23/09)
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Know the final product will be completely different.

2 comments:

Abbas Razzaghpanah said...

Would there be a checklist to future, it would bee more bewildering, yet absurd, than it already is. We'd get lost so much in reaching hands for it, we'd forget to seize the moment. Stupid as life is, we get forged into new beings and won't know it before we've already solidified.

GoGo said...

This is why this portion was cut out of the next drafts. A) too melodramatic B) college is a checklist of sorts. But none of this was the point of the story...so it had to go. I just wanted to post something.