Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Interview with a Mit Smoker

GoGo:
So you’ve been smoking for a while now?

Internal Dialogue:
Yep, since the Spring of my 18th year when my heartstruck offered me one. I had dreams about smoking before this. The temptation. The inhaling. Probably because I spent my whole life with a smoker…got the itch way before I ever had one. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t my Mother’s fault. I took the first hit. I knew better. I also knew I wanted a taboo to rebel against my current understanding of things and how I did love my heartstruck. So, yeah, I’ve been smoking for a minute or two.  It wasn’t much at first and I was able to quit in the summers.

GoGo:
How many times have you tried to quit?

Internal Dialogue:
What do those packets say, ‘Never stop quitting’. So, I’m gonna say once. I tried once and haven’t stopped trying.  

GoGo:
Sounds like you want to quit smoking?

Internal Dialogue:
Sure.

GoGo:
What are the precipitating reasons for quitting?

Internal Dialogue:
Ah, now that’s a question. To be honest, if honesty is ever anything I never gave you, that is certainly a complicated answer.  I could say because smoking is smelly, because people don’t like me smoking, because its unhealthy….yadda yadda yadda.  But the truth is, there is a part of me that doesn’t buy into that. Its smelly? Have you ever smelled a silent fart of a vegetarian?! If smelly was a good enough reason alone to quit something we’d all have to eat fartless foods.  And as for people who don’t like me smoking, well I’ve found in my life time there is always something somebody else doesn’t like about me.  My g-d, how I remember my childhood when that group of kids beat me because I protected that nerdy kid from getting his glasses broke.  Told me I was a faggot lover and proceeded to try and shame me for speaking outside the crowd’s way. It’s hard to react to people not liking something about me after that.  

Unhealthy? Yes. Exactly the reason. I want to quit so I can breathe. I want to climb a mountain.  I want to do it on my 70th birth year too, so I need to repair so I can get there.  It’s a silly dream, I know, but I figure it will give me the rush I need to handle the next 30 years after.  I have a date with a time capsule on my hundredth birthday, buried near the library of my home town.  It wasn’t buried by me.  It was buried when I was born by random people at that time. I was born in 1976, so its just coincidence there is a capsule waiting to be open. I figure I got a good chance to open it since the competition will probably have died off and I’ve always been so damn curious what’s in that box!

GoGo:
What do you think about the new Mit law where you cannot smoke in any public space outside or in?

Internal Dialogue:
Well to be honest I’m not going to participate in civil disobedience on this one. I should! I believe full heartedly in civil disobedience when laws are oppressive in nature. Don’t get me wrong, I think all public spaces should be smoke free.  As a smoker, I need to remember those dreams I had before I started smoking.  I knew how to inhale long before I ever did.  2nd hand smoke kills.  

GoGo:
If you agree with the law, why do you question it then?

Internal Dialogue:
Its simple, take out smoking and add homo, black, poor, white, Chicano, rich, dogs, beautiful people, ugly or fat…whatever. Pick something close to your heart and imagine a world that dictates it cannot be there AT ALL because they don’t agree with it.  I shutter at laws that confine and bind in such absolute terms.  You see, Oppression is such a precarious thing, it doesn’t give a flying fuck who it oppresses, just that its tools are re-instilled to do so.  

GoGo:
So what is your solution?

Internal Dialogue:
For what?

GoGo:
How do we stop smokers from killing themselves?

Internal Dialogue:
We don’t.

GoGo:
Why won’t you participate in civil disobedience then?

Internal Dialogue:
I have bigger things to resist in this nation.  I don’t want it to get lost in the diatribes of smoking.  I do have to say though, its going to be nice to not be reminded of cigarettes every time I go outside.  Still it sucks to be reminded that it’s so easy for our society to create laws to suppress rather then laws to transcend the people.  Ah, but this isn’t an interview on that. It’s about smoking and I’ve done that.  Excuse me; I want to go smoke while I still can.

2 comments:

the walking man said...

Age 55, smoked my first one age 7, smoked with my folks age 9, quit once for two weeks in boot camp.

It seems from the reports that keep coming in I have already outlived quite a few people whim I grew up with so I must be doing something right but then if someone tells me I can't then I know I must.

When I, like you GoGo, choose to quit for my own reasons then I will. Until then the lawmakers and sanctimonious can kiss my smelly ass.

GoGo said...

That's what I'm saying. :).

This new law is acrimonious at the very least!